Days 22-25: Vail or Altitude Sickness

I'm never going above 6,000 feet again in my life.

Kevin was invited to a wedding in Vail over Labor Day weekend so we packed up our things and left on Friday afternoon for what I thought would be a weekend of fun, food and outdoor activities. Wrong! I somehow failed to make the connection between Vail, skiing, high altitude and the fact that I do horribly in the upper parts of our atmosphere. It's my own fault, really. I should've known. I spent a summer doing astrophysics research in Flagstaff, Arizona (about 7,000 feet above sea level) and even after 10 weeks I still hadn't acclimated to the lower partial pressure of oxygen. I got winded walking up the stairs and could only survive the tamest of hikes after a few weeks of exposure.

Clouds from the plane. I should've seen this as the ominous premonition it was.

When we landed in Denver, the "mile high" city (a mile is 5,280 feet), I was perfectly fine. Vail, however, is about three hours west and three thousand feet higher. During the drive from Denver to Vail, you experience even higher altitudes -- at one point I saw a sign indicating that we were a little over 10,000 feet. On the way there, we stopped in Dillion for dinner at the Dillon Dam Brewery. We each had a beer and buffalo burger with grilled onions. We should've split one. I felt guilty for only eating half of it so I forced myself to eat another quarter, you know, so I wouldn't waste as much food. This was a horrible idea. On the last leg of the trip to Vail, the food expanded like a salty bomb in my stomach and I nearly puked when I spilled out of the car upon arriving at the hotel. The bellhop probably thought I was drunk.

Bellhop: Do you need help with your bags?

Kevin: No, I think we're okay.

Me (slurring my speech): Yes, we definitely need help with the bags! ... I'm so tired!

While we were checking in, I went to use the restroom in the lobby to see if I was going to barf. I didn't but I came this close. Kevin parked the car after we checked in, leaving me to find the room on my own. We stayed at the Vail Cascade which, even when you're of sound mind, feels like a maze. The bellhop had to lead me to the elevators in the Terrace Wing which may as well have been the second star on the right and straight on till morning.

By the time I flopped down on the bed, I had a splitting headache, felt stupidly full and basically had a hangover. At least with a hangover you know you feel bad because you had a good time the night before. What makes altitude sickness such a fucking bitch is that you feel like crap but you didn't get to do anything fun before getting to that feeling. I took two Advil, drank what felt like a gallon of water and went to bed.

The next day was better but I still felt really sick and winded after only moderate physical activity. This meant no hiking, bike-riding or anything fun you can think of. We had lunch at the Westside Cafe, which is Vail's #1 restaurant according to Trip Advisor. Whatever, we saw a tater tot section of the menu and were sold.

Sweet potato tater tots.

They had sweet potato tater tots. I'd never heard of such a thing so we had to try them. They tasted like ... sweet potato tater tots! Really good. They were served with sage brown butter but we preferred ketchup. Westside Cafe made some pretty bold claims on their menu like "World's Best Eggs Benedict" and "World's Best Bloody Mary." We had to put them to the test.

Westside Cafe's 18oz Bloody Mary with a vegetable salad on top.

I wouldn't call it the "World's Best." I'm prefer the bloodies at the Publican, Fish Bar and the California Clipper. Still, Westside Cafe's was pretty good and only made my symptoms slightly worse. You're not supposed to drink if you have altitude sickness but I couldn't do anything else so I thought I'd take the hit. Alcohol didn't adversely affect me after the first night.

We each tried a different type of eggs Benedict. Kevin got the Redneck Benedict, served on biscuits with pulled pork and chipotle hollandaise, and I got the Southwest Benedict, served with pepper-jack cheese, spicy chorizo, avocado and chipotle bernaise. Was the bernaise the same as the hollandaise? Probably.

Southwest Benedict

They were both really tasty! I was only able to finish half of mine but had the good sense to stop eating this time. We returned the next day for lunch but it wasn't as good. However, we did not continue ordering their "World's Best" items so maybe that's our own fault.

The rehearsal dinner and wedding were both beautiful yet understated and the weather cooperated wonderfully the entire weekend. Kevin got hit with the altitude sickness to a lesser degree than I did, which basically meant he had a headache and was fatigued. We spent a good portion of Saturday just napping. On Sunday, we went into Vail Village to get a card for the soon-to-be-newlyweds and found a food festival. We didn't partake in any of it since we'd just had lunch. Between you and me, Vail Village looks like a giant mall. I guess I can see its appeal during the winter months?

I think the altitude sickness may have made me a little cranky, or maybe I was simply being a damn Yankee, but I wasn't feeling Vail at all the entire weekend. It's just so country out there. I get really irritable when I experience inefficiency -- for example, traffic induces physical pain in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen -- and things move a lot slower in Colorado.

It's beautiful ... but deadly!

Even so, I felt bad that my physical illness made me kind of a killjoy over the long weekend. From now on, I'm going to stay below 6,000 feet if I can. I felt like a superhero once we got back to Denver and power-walked between our gate and a Panda Express.

Did you know you can only get two spring rolls there? They won't give you just one. Unbelievable.